Joke of the day

[Protege5girl]

For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no transportation."

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This was written by a black man in Texas.......so funny.....what a great sense of humor!

When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I cold, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.

You white folks......
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
When you bruised, you purple.
And when you die, you gray.

So who you callin' colored?"

[Mazda_rida]

A LITTLE BOY GOT HIS REPORT CARD AND IT HAD ALL F'S , SO HE TOOK IT BACK TO HIS TEACHER AND SAID "HELL NAW... U BETTER *THROW SOME D'S ON THAT BITCH* ..

[ESsedan01]

Holy fizzling a thread Andrew!

Why are you yelling? Have a baker's dozen of crack tarts on the way home tonight?:rolleyes:

[Mazda_rida]

i just copy'd and paste thought it was funny:P

[ESsedan01]

^ Did the officers take your starting a thread privledge away??:D

[Mazda_rida]

no, but i knew there was a thread about jokes so i just added on to it. and i know there is more just to lazy to look for it... i think i have a serious problem IM TO ***KING LAZY:|!!!! i work to hard durning the day and at night im just out of gas:P

[ProDJtege]

what's better than a pile of dead babies??



...



...



wait for it!...



...

...




Watching the live one at the bottom try to eat its way out.

[macklum]

Please no dead baby jokes they are in really bad taste

[ESsedan01]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurseappears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,"I don't know sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again,"Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then she takes a close look and says,"There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly.

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. But listen to me very, very, closely..........................................

Are-my-test-results-back?"

[Mazda_rida]

Lmfaooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! omggggggggg that was great lee lmfao!!!

[Mazda_rida]

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand

[RicecookerP5]

^lol

[ESsedan01]

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud
pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a
drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

“Not a chance,” says the husband. “It is 3 o’clock in the morning.” He slams
the door and returns to bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife. “Just some drunk guy asking for a push!”

“Did you help him?” she asks.

“No. I did not. It is 3 o’clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!”

His wife said, “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

The man reluctantly gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.

He calls out into the dark, “Hello. Are you still there?”

“Yes,” comes back the answer.

“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.

“Yes! Please!” comes the reply from the darkness.

“Where are you?” asks the husband.

“Over here on the swing!” replies the drunk.

[RicecookerP5]

^OH Geez! lawl

[Mazda_rida]

lmao good one lee!